Sad News

R.I.P. DILLAN

Well, I hate to report this sad news but the children have been so upset I felt I have to share. Our neighbours two dogs broke into one of our rabbit hutches and killed one of our pet rabbits. Now you have to understand that these are no ordinary rabbits, they are real pets. The rabbits come in the house and are just spoiled rotten. Since this happened the children have been very tearful, its traumatic for them to have their pet destroyed like this.

I was surprised at the depth of the children's feelings as we have experience natural causes deaths before and the children had always been accepting. I am only glad I was home and caught the dogs when I did. the dogs were starting on another hutch, it doesn't bear thinking about what would have happened if I was away from the house. The second hutch had our pregnant lion head bunny in, a Dutch rabbit and two young girls, the devastation would have been awful.

On a lighter note the lion head bunny is due her litter on the 14th April so we are looking forward to that. We have decided, (if its okay with the person who is taking the babies) we are going to keep one of the new rabbits if there is a male.

Where have I been?

Where have I been? I know, I know, it has been forever since I last updated the blog. I have ran out of excuses, there are none! I was just dead lazy and I got even lazier when I thought of all the other times I apologised at being lazy and reading other blogs where people do the same thing.

I wont apologise, I am here ... I am posting again, for now. Just accept that if I refrain from posting I am either being lazy or I am super busy, or having a crisis in my life, or out socialising far too many hours, or having a baby (probably not but maybe the rabbits are having babies again), or feeding the dog ..wait I don't have a dog. Oh, I don't know, maybe it is raining!

Mag is ill! Appendicitis

Mag has not been well. He was sick unexpectedly during last week and then he was 'ok'. On Saturday he was quite poorly, had a sore belly and was sick so we all assumed he had a tummy bug. The scary thing is on Saturday night I had a dream that Mag died - my instinct was screaming at me to get him seen to. Sunday morning Roy left very early to get a flight to Scotland - so leaving me alone with 4 children including one with a suspected tummy bug. I wanted to lie in but could not settle for worrying about Mag. So I got up early that morning to check on him and discovered a very ill Mag. He just looked awful and his tummy was hard. Long story short I got the three kids farmed out to the neighbours ...and we went off to the local hospital (all before 9am!).

I 'knew' by then what was wrong. The doctor examined him and looked at me, I said "is it what I think it is?" He nodded and gave us a referral letter for the Ulster Hospital.

Got to the Ulster hospital and did all the booking in palaver which takes forever especially when you are sick. First off the triage nurse was saying "has he got sickness?", "has anyone in your family got a tummy bug?" *sigh* I was just wanting him seen but you still have to do all that elimination. Eventually they came to the same diagnosis. They said they could not deal with him as he was sick and that they did not have an ambulance so I reluctantly agreed to take him in the car to the Royal. I got Mag stood up and promptly collapsed - he got his ambulance! I was glad when I saw the ramp and steps up to the other hospital entrance, there would have been no way he could have walked up himself.

I followed the ambulance, got to the hospital and we did all the signing in rigmarole again.
He was getting iller (if there is a word) by the minute and they couldn't even give him any pain relief. In the end he got onto the surgical ward and eventually after 20 million consent forms etc he got into theatre. He was so ill by then they had to slide him on the bed with one of those roller blanket things like they have on the TV. I stayed with him until he was unconscious from the anaesthetic. Mag had a hole in his appendix, the operation took two hours. He was very lucky boy another few hours and he would have been dead.

His recovery has not been as smooth as we would have liked, he is still a very sick boy. Ashley's bowel has kinked and he has had to have further treatment including an unpleasant procedure involving putting a tube into his tummy. He is still hooked up to the morphine, IV antibiotics and fluids as well as having his stomach drained.

I shall update on his progress as I am able.

Here he is ...

Not Good News

The news this week.

It is not good. My grandmother died early on Monday morning, she had been ill for a while but to be perfectly honest I think no one expected it to happen when it did.

This itself has caused upset to our family but also there are some underlying problems too. The burial is on Saturday and I am not sure I can go. There will be an ex family member there and I am afraid she can be a little bit unpredictable. After her, earlier in the year, vicious tirade against me and my family I have seen what she is capable of - I cannot risk putting my family or myself in the path of her very erratic behaviour again. This person tried to destroy my family and my life (she did not suceed), and after a lot of soul searching and questioning myself as to what was so bad to make her hate me so much I realised that she herself needs to love herself before she can love others. Myself and my family are greater than she will ever be, and one thing I can be sure of is that our popularity and position amongst our friends and the village where we live is good testimony to ourselves.

My grandmother would understand if she were here as she also faced the wrath of the above mentioned, I am not sure others would understand but I dont have to live with 'others'.

I will always remember my gran, she was special to us and no body can take our fond memories away.

Remembering

 

Our daughter went to heaven officially on the 8th November 2001 though she was gone from the 6th. We will never forget.

 

 

I wrote these poems when I was still very much grieving (you never really stop). I am sure in literacy terms they are not very good but it was how we were feeling at the time.

 

 

 

KNOWING

(too beautiful for earth)

Your time here is finished,

I certainly know this is true.

I saw you in my dreams,

I knew it was you.

That night you stood before me,

Your silky long dark hair

as beautiful as can be.

I took you in my arms and held you,

for eternity and a day.

You said you would be

my very own guardian angel

watching all the time over me.

So now on earth your job is done,

I have to let you move on.

I saw your cheeky eyes in my thoughts,

your hair, your skin as pure as dawn.

Goodbye, my dear goodbye,

and God rest your soul.

I feel you moving further away from me,

my sad dreams have come to a close.

My life now is about KNOWING...

Knowing you,

because I do,

and knowing that you are at peace.

 

 

 

Already In Heaven

I didn't hold you in my arms,

I didn't have your warmth to my breast,

Despite all the things I missed,

I loved you like no other.

I knew you not in life my sweet.

I didn't hug you or touch your tiny feet,

If I could only stroke your skin

not just feel the warmth from within.

Before I knew it you were gone,

a short whisper of a lifetime.

you were the one I loved

the one I will never forget.

In my thoughts I hugged you

like there was no tomorrow

I wonder if you could see me or feel me,

or were you already in heaven my love?

I was with you for every living minute,

from you conception to your death.

This is the only comfort I have,

knowing - that you weren't alone.

 

 

 

 

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Toni's 6th BIrthday

I am catching up - been so far behind in posting my photos and updates ..been a busy time for us.

These photos are from the 22nd of September 08, I know it was a few Weeks ago but I just had to share. Toni's 6th Birthday was a bitter sweet day for us all because on her 5th birthday my mother, Toni's grandmother passed away. Toni's 5th birthday was spoiled, and now we have to live with that date being not only a special day but a painful reminder of me losing my mother at the young age of 56.

It was a nice day weather ways, which made a chance seeing as it had been raining for the past 3 months. We had quite a few friends to help mark the day, plenty of food and TWO birthday cakes!



first thing on the actual day opening her gifts.



Seb joining in the fun!



Sol too.


Toni got a vet kit.

From bad to good

The week did not start off well! A friend passed away - in our old house just up the road from where we live now we grew to love the couple next door. I will never forget the support they offered us when our baby Molly was lost, those days shortly afterwards were pretty dark - and our neighbours were there for us. Good times and bad, and despite the age difference we had a laugh many an afternoon spent chatting. Robert Alexander Martin passed suddenly on the 15th May, the funeral was Tuesday, it was a sad day.



Monday - we got a visit from a friend. Not sure if the friend was visiting us or just wanted a run out in her new car teehee. It was a pleasant afternoon just sitting in the garden watching our nine children run round crazy. Those children are a hungry bunch too - you want to have seen the plate of sandwiches they polished off in ten seconds.



Tuesday was the funeral as I already mentioned, it put a damper on the rest of the day.



Thursday saw us head off to a neighbouring village with the children. Roy had left early that day to go to Manchester, so we had use of the big car. I had left the children's glasses prescriptions in at our optician so the plan was to collect three of the four pairs. I met with some friends and we had a very pleasant afternoon chatting and walking, while the kids munched away on crisps and ice lollies. I also picked up a couple presents for our friend whose birthday was Friday 23rd. We got her a ginger bread smelly candle, it was gorgeous and i could have easily kept it for myself. Far nicer than any of the yankee candles I have mmmm. We also got her a tiny glass perfume bottle for her dressing table, she loved it and I have to agree it was so pretty.



After getting the kids into bed I made our friend a birthday card. I used some pressed lavender flowers that another friend had given me and put it in a little vase on the front of some co ordinating lavender card. I also made two little sachets and put some dried lavender in them and popped them inside the card. Its been a long time since I made a card for someone - done plenty of scrap booking but no cards. I love spending time in my little craft room, its upstairs away from the rest of the house so I can just leave stuff laid out as I like.



here is the card






Friday - we visited the friend whose birthday it was and had the best morning sitting in her sun room while the children played out side. The friend was delighted to see us and it restored some spirit in us, we are not so bad after all. That was a nice ending to the week that started off rubbish. In the evening Roy took the children fishing, leaving Sol and I at home for some nice quiet 'sit down' time, I did a little scrapbooking and some laundry!

Saturday - the children did not wake early for a change so Roy and I had a nice cup of tea in bed and a read at our books. When we did make the effort to get up Roy cut the grass and I headed off into the town with two of the children to drop them at chess club. Instead of coming home I took a walk round the shops, picking up a few bargains from Boots and Asda. When we got home it was time to make tea, then time rolled on to the children's bedtime. Come 11pm we were sat laughing at how boring our lives were, Saturday night with a Muller chocolate corner yoghurt thing and a cup of tea with endless episodes of CSI and Criminal Minds.

8th May 2008 - Seb's operation

I wish I had more to say this evening, but I am utterly exhausted so I will spare you the gory bits and keep this short.

He made it through! Seb had his operation and mummy survived although ten very short fingernails later. I know this is routine stuff but it is quite overwhelming sitting there whilst people work around you trying to put your baby to sleep for an operation.
They had to stick him a number of times in both hands and feet - he was just determined not to make it easy. In the end the anaesthetist gave him gas and from there on in it was plain sailing (thank goodness - I don't think I would have coped).

He recovered quickly and got home this afternoon which was great for the family too. Toni had been upset all morning, last time she knew someone go into hospital they passed away so I think this was playing on her mind.
and Sol - well she didn't miss me much, just her 'ga-gums' which is her word for the milk which only I can supply.

4th February 2008

Its been ages since I updated all my friends ...

So here I go. To sum it all up in as few words as possible as I am sure you dont want to read lengthy explanations as to where I have been and what I have been doing.


First things first, Mag got his transfer exam results and he got an A. Just the result we were hoping for, and I just knew he would get an A too as he was getting close to 100% correct in his practice papers. This means that any school would be open for him to go to next year so long as they had places available. Though we are still going to home educate it was good to keep our options open. He wanted to do the exam and its a good measure of his ability and also I know we are on the right track with regards to what he is learning.


Other news this week - we had a death in the family. One of our cats, Scooby passed away on Friday morning. The children were pretty upset about it, but I guess this is a valuable lesson for them about how fragile life is. Poor Scooby just slipped into a coma like state, we found him laying in his kennel cold and lifeless. Off we went to the vet, and he explained that Scooby had signs of brain swelling with two or three possible causes. If it was poison then he would sleep it off perhaps, there is a new type of poison being used for mice and it affects other animals like this. the other alternatives were a head trauma caused by a fall, which I think is unlikely considering there was no visable injuries. The other thing was that he had an underlaying problem and just bled into his brain, thats what we settled for due to the absence of any other injuries. He had a big steroid injection and some muscle injections but it was all futile in the end.

We are left with Mistra who is very old and Tigger.

Well here I am after 11pm, and the day is almost over.
Awoke early this morning to the chorus of hungry children lamenting about how they will die if they don't eat. As if!
My step father stayed with us last night as my husband was away on business so he was good in helping get the children organised today. Seb went off to playgroup as usual at 9.15 and our school day stayed at home.
Mag is learning about the Ancient Egyptions just now, and boy has he done that topic to death ...but he likes it so what can I say. We did some fractions for maths and some connectives too. i was looking on amazon for a good song or music book for the little ones also, I think I have found what I am looking for so I might go back on tomorrow to buy it. Toni was good today, she did heaps. Her reading is brilliant now, she is only 5 and I am amazed at how quickly she picks things up. She did some very simple multiplication or should I say 'sets of' 2 and 3. Its funny how much maths little children know, much more than we give them credit for. Ask them about if siblings have so many sweets and they know exactly how many more or less they need to even it out! Try it and see for yourself.

We have had some strange discussions of late too. My mother passed away just a few weeks ago and the little ones were fairly accepting of this. but just this week we had got some new cold water fish, we have tropical ones too but we just started a cold water tank. Anyways - we popped four gold fish in the tank last week and straight away we noticed one was sick. So I treated the water, stupid me for not lifting the fish out as we ended up losing all four fish. We cleaned the tank all out and started again, this time with two black moors. That's by the by, the children asked where the fish went. I told them that they went to fishy heaven in the sky hhmmmmm to a five your old this is a great puzzle. So how did the fish get there? They swam?
So how come grandma is in heaven but you buried her in the ground - DOH I walked right into that one. The explanation we gave was that a person's body is buried and their 'feelings' go to heaven, it was the best I could do when put on the spot like that. So all day we have had lengthy discussions about peoples feelings.

So when talking to a five year old ... be careful what you say or tell them as you never know where it might lead.